By Centari Jackson
May 30, 2016
Radio host Alex Jones remains in police custody following an altercation at a Burger King in downtown Austin, Texas late this morning.
Burger King workers at the food court in the Stratfor complex said that the altercation began after 42-year-old Jones demanded that he be able to customize a large number of cheeseburgers. When restaurant staff told him they were pre-made and were sold as they are, Jones grew very angry and began to flail his arms about, yelling and screaming about a “New world order conspiracy” to suppress him.
“He was hysterical,” says Jeffrey Hamilton, a 16-year-old employee of the popular fast-food chain. “He could not accept what we told him about the burgers. And he wanted a ridiculous amount of burgers, like 50 or something.”
At one point, another worker intervened, calling Jones a “Zionist disinformation agent” and telling him to back down. The self-proclaimed patriot then lashed out and grabbed said employee by the collar and screamed, “I am the king of conspiracy! You must be a government agent!”
Jones, not satisfied, reportedly made a cellphone call to Stratfor chairman George Friedman. But by the time Friedman arrived to help his associate, police had already arrested Jones.
Friedman declined to comment on the altercation.
A food court security guard said that he sees Jones quite regularly in the food court, usually in the smoking room, where Friedman and other men in suits often accompany him.
Austin city police said they want to question Jones but are unlikely to press any charges.
Jones’ lawyer Elizabeth L. Morgan issued a statement to the press shortly after the arrest saying that her client has been under a lot of stress lately due to an ongoing custody battle over his three children. Jones’s ex-wife Kelly Rebecca Nichols filed for divorce in 2013. The host of conspiracy hub Infowars.com has also experienced disappointment over a drop in ratings of viewers of his various online programs over the last couple of years.
*The above article is satire and intended for entertainment purposes. Any resemblance to real life people or events is intentional.
I notice Jones and Watson going big on Brexit. Brexit a major league Zio-masonic psy-op in my view. Most, though not all, of the so called alternative media are buying into it big time – never stopping to ask why, if it’s such a blow against globalism, so many Neocon ultras – Murdoch, the Heritage Foundation, The Telegraph, Julie Burchill, Michael Gove, Charles Moore, Nigel Lawson, Liam Fox, Gisela Stuart, Julia Hartley Brewer, Alison Pearson, and so many more (including Watson btw) – are all backing it. Don’t get me wrong, the EU is utterly corrupt, but the whole set up of this “debate” reminds me so much of the climate change psy-op that Fitzinfo has so expertly exposed, i.e. you’ve got two different branches of Judaeo-masonry pretending to slug it out in a choreographed show of contrived disagreement The sincerity of the Remain side’s desire to win this “referendum” can be gauged by their decision to select the buffoonish transvestite Eddie Izzard to represent their side in a BBC debate. Also it’s noticeable how very few Zio-celebs are backing the Remain side – unlike the case of the Scottish referendum two years ago.
Alex Jones actually publicly reacted this week to this satire piece I did. https://youtu.be/Cz1R773Fe7g?t=19m15s It must have ticked him off, because he doesn’t normally respond to my pieces.
I’m not sure what to think of Brexit. Don’t know much about it, but a superficial look at it does seem to fit the your interpretation of it.
Tim I understand your uncertainty about Brexit – I’m far from sure what to make of it myself. In the normal way I’d be all for any country leaving the EU, but there’s something fishy about this referendum. If I had a vote in it I don’t think I could bring myself to vote to stay in the EU, but, as I say the issue is complicated by the presence of so many ultra-Zionist shills on the Brexit side. And even the outlets one would normally expect to be fanatically pro EU – the BBC, the Guardian, the Independent and so on – are taking a very ambivalent approach to the issue. A few months ago Ian R. Crane predicted that regardless of the true vote count, the powers that be were planning a Brexit victory – in order to “reform” the EU, ie make it even more of a creature of the Neocon globalists than it is already. Crane’s analysis ran completely counter to Icke, and many other alternative media outlets, but events seem to be vindicating him with each day that passes. He’s a dodgy New Ager in many ways, but in matters of political intrigue like this he’s often on the money – much more so than most alternativists – many of whom for example took the results of last year’s British election at face value – even though the evidence for systematic vote fraud was overwhelming. It seems counter-intuitive that the Zios would ever sponsor an anti-EU movement, but the long term plan seems to be to increase the power of the City of London to dictate to the rest of Europe,
Jones was hitting Islam pretty hard today. It was just like Fox News was following 9/11. Carbon copy. And of course, Paul Joseph Watson chimed in. Critique and unmask Islam but leave Judaism untouched, eh Jonesy?
There is currently a YouTube video doing the rounds, and meeting with great approval by Catholic Trads, of Paul Joseph Watson on a rant against Francis and his support for Muslim migrants. What these Trads don’t seem to realise, and what Watson won’t tell them is members of which Tribe is responsible for the Muslim invasion of Europe.
Tim, I don’t read the Infowhores comment forums much but even so I’ve seen your site mentioned quite a few times there – so the IW team must know that you’re one of their sharpest critics
Excellent satire by the way!
Thanks! I wasn’t sure how it would go over. I was actually planning a fictional series based on Jones’ character.
Mary Louise: Spot on. Nor does Watson speculate on who was behind Benedict’s strange departure – and the even stranger “election” of Bergoglio. To their credit David Duke and Patrick Slattery both acknowledge that this whole episode was a Zio black op. As so often the trads are allowing themselves to be led by the nose by their false friends, the Neocon Muzzy bashers (I’m sure PJW would hotly deny being a Neocon, but as Tim says Infowhores has become well nigh indistinguishable from Fox).
You have to hand it to the Zios – in choosing radical Islam as the phony enemy, they hit the jackpot – because this meme has lured just about everyone onto the War on Terror western suicide express. Secular liberals jump on board because the WoT narrative paints religion in a bad light, feminists because Muslims oppress women, white nats because they hope that if Muslims can be shown to be terrorists, white Europeans will turn against immigration, and of course trads jump on because of Lepanto, the Crusades, Belloc’s warnings about resurgent Islam etc. As you say they never stop to ask themselves why the same War on terror aficionados all support mass migration of Muslims or sponsor Islamic jihadist wars that lead to millions of migrants coming westward. Asking awkward questions like that might quench that warm inner glow that comes with being on the fashionable side for once.
Christopher Bollyn’s sobering analysis of Infowars and the Orlando narrative:
Classic shill. AJ maintains the Orlando incident was actual, yet believes the Sandy Hook and Charleston shootings were false flags. Jones believes 9/11 was a false flag yet still believes Muslims as terrorists.
Northsider, if you will allow me, I will publish this as an article here.
Tim, be my guest! By the way since I wrote it I’ve across an interesting piece by Gilad Atzmon, “Brexit and the Jewish Oligarchs”, which also notes the presence of Zionist super-shills, Michael Gove and Liam Fox, in the leadership of Brexit.